“Why?”: The Question That Causes So Much Trouble
“I asked him ‘why?’ and he just shrugged his shoulders and said ‘I don’t know.’” I have heard a form of this statement from countless parents lamenting the fact that they can’t get a straight answer to their “Why?” question. “Why didn’t you turn in your homework?” “Why did you leave your stuff on the […]
A Letter To My Daughter
Dear Daughters, I have a conflict. I have a strong desire, a deep longing, to protect you. To protect your bodies from harm, your hearts from pain, and your emotions from adolescent boys (among other things). But, I have a clear understanding that I will fail at this. I will not be able to keep […]
Tips to Help Dads (and Moms) Engage with Preschoolers
We are wired to want to be good at what we do, including our job as a parent, but what do we do if it doesn’t always come naturally? Some Dads love to talk with their preschoolers, while others don’t know where to start. Some Dads connect with their middle schooler, while others can’t stand […]
Helping Your Child Develop Independence and Responsibility Through Homework
At what point in your child’s education should they take over responsibility for the management of their own assignments and test preparation? How much should a parent help, remind, or insist? When does a parent’s support cross the line from a necessary step in building their child’s skills to preventing them from flourishing? Parents can use […]
Boredom Benefits: Why It’s Okay to Let Your Child be Bored
“I’m bored.” A phrase that many parents hate to hear. It is often accompanied by whining and an expectation that the parent will come to the rescue and provide sufficient entertainment. Boredom is not a terrible state that we should prevent at all times. Boredom provides time for your child to learn to engage with […]
Navigating Parent-Teacher Conferences
It feels like school just started! But the homework battles and mounds of papers on my kitchen counter tell me that school is fully underway, and we are already nearing the end of the first quarter. Whether the school year has been calm or hectic for you, it is about to kick into high gear […]
Raising Successful Kids
From preschool through high school, it’s easy to get sucked into the trap of stressing (and over-stressing) about if our kids will grow up to be successful. We want them to work their hardest, earn perfect grades, and study to get top scores. We want them to play on the right teams and to work […]
Cultivating Resilience
Have you ever noticed that parents don’t stand around and talk about how their child didn’t make the team, failed a test, or cried as they waited in line for a roller-coaster? Parents prefer to talk about achievement, growth, and well-being rather than the disappointments their children experience. It’s no surprise children and adolescents do […]
Finding a Frame and Adjusting Your Focus: A Perspective On Navigating Challenging Situations (Part 2)
In the last newsletter, I wrote about framing your challenges in a way that orients you and/or your child towards success. Now that you’ve found your frame, you can practice zooming in and out on specific sections of the picture. Whether you’re the parent of a child with significant special needs or you’re the parent […]
Introducing Therapy to Your Kids
Going to therapy for the first time can lead to a variety of feelings in parents and their child. Worried, mad, surprised, confused, hopeful, hopeless, relieved, and other emotions may be the reaction your child feels when they are told about meeting with a therapist. Many parents have asked me how to talk to their […]